Personal Growth is a lifelong journey of reflecting on how you are progressing in aspects of your life and making changes and adjustments in light of the feedback. The growth is about growing and evolving towards a more complete and wholehearted version of you – authentic, genuine, and courageously you – being yourself.
As a starting point, we should approach this from the other end of the spectrum, where you may be stuck – frozen – ruminating on the mess you are in and not being able to see a way forward. It’s convenient to see yourself as a victim of circumstances or your family or outside events or random bad luck or something like that. And it really is easy – you don’t have to really do anything other than just sit there and keep feeling the victim!
Or, you can decide that you have had enough of this feeling and choose instead to take action and do whatever it takes to change things. That’s where a life coach can help kick start things.
Example Personal Growth Framework
An effective strategy for pulling yourself out of a slump or being stuck – is to follow a simple one two three four step plan. There’s no thinking or pondering involved, which means there is less chance of delay, and just as important, you can learn the steps and keep reapplying them when a new situation arises.
It’s the essence of personal growth in this one framework – it acts like a scaffold or support system to guide your growth when you are in danger of falling over. (Think along the lines of a sapling bending in the wind and this framework being a couple of strong stakes holding the sapling upright – they aren’t needed 90% of the time, but when the storm hits, they can save you from completely snapping off – or worse…)
A scaffold works to bring you back from the brink when you are lost to your emotions – you can safely go into autopilot and just follow the plan to get yourself back where you need to be.
1 Take responsibility for yourself right now
I know it is overwhelming and just plain awful, but at some point you have to decide to end the pain and suffering part of the process. Ready? Good, that means you are taking responsibility for your current state and you are ready to move forward. You should feel a bit better just making this decision.
2 Declare what you want – target your focus
Next, immediately, write down the one word you want to be – composed, calm, centered, motivated, confident,. resilient, unflustered, – this is the focal point of your mantra or affirmation. Now frame it inside a doing sentence that involves you as the I – as in “I am feeling centered and calm and I am letting go of feeling flustered and inadequate.”
Repeating these words is not simple positive thinking – it is a concrete step towards taking affirmative action to re-align your thoughts with where you want to be with yourself in a position of control, ownership and authority. No longer are you swaying in the wind of your emotions and feeling vulnerable and exposed – you have taken back the power and you are back on track. Again, you should start to feel some composure almost immediately.
3 What thoughts can I bundle with this affirmation?
Visualise and immerse yourself in the affirmation – take yourself in your mind’s eye where you are living thew words and breathing and feeling and actually experiencing the feelings of (in this example) centered, calm, unflustered and adequate/complete/enough.
Seeing yourself in an ideal aspect as the embodiment of these words again creates a real space where you are actually living it – and you are moving farther away from the initial feelings and emotions of fear, scarcity and threat that had you experiencing stuck-ness and paralysis.
4 What action can I take to bring this feeling to life?
Action is key here, because whilst feeling is very powerful, but it just isn’t actually behaving – as in doing it.
Feeling + (without action) Behaving is ok
Action = Behaving > Feeling